Pop culture while it can seem shallow in some ways, can also transport you. I have been reminded of this in the past few days as I have rediscovered one of my great television loves -- "Felicity."
While not a lot of people remember "Felicity," I loved this show. It is a quiet and understated program about a girl who decides to take the first real risk of her life by heading to New York to go to college. The first few episodes are about her conquering the fear of going from the comfort of her parents' home in California to the fictional University of New York.
It reminds me of my current state of stress and confusion. I am heading toward this huge risk, leaving West Virginia permanently for the first time since I was a child. Right now, "Felicity" is offering me some comfort food. Some strength in remembering that all things happen to help drive us forward, to do what helps us grow.
So, I long to be strong like "Felicity" in the coming weeks.

Back to writing

So my vacation break turned into a almost year long break.
While I still struggle with some writing, right now I am struggling with reading, lots and lots of reading. To combat this, I try to take breaks. I have another 200 pages at least in one book and the play "Henry IV Part One" to read this weekend. It is now nearly 7 p.m. on Saturday and I am not sure I can read any more tonight. I guess I will be cramming in a ton of reading on Sunday morning.
I realized that I do a bunch of reading and then I don't clear my head, so I need to fit in more writing to coincide with my reading. The book I finished today will be turned into my notes. This isn't really writing, but it is processing information. As I approach my thesis, I have more and more of this work in front of me. I am going to have to find ways to process information and read a great deal more books. And on top of that, I need to be better about writing this blog.

A blogger vacation

So, I have taken a vacation from the blogiverse for a few weeks. Some of it was a break from school, but most of it was a break from writing. I am working on getting back into the groove.

This semester, I have two classes that involve a lot of writing -- Teaching College English and Advanced Expository Writing. The teaching class doesn't seem writing centric, but Dr. Douglas loves writing (part of the reason that I love her classes). The expository writing process is a whole new concept for me. It is nonfiction writing for the most part. It is basically a lot of experimentation with my writing.

That experimentation is why I am struggling. Writing about what I want without guidance is such a strange concept for me. I am working on it and will try to do better in the coming weeks.

Wish me luck.

Two 15 page papers? No problem

So maybe I am more naive than I realize. I really thought three days off from work would be enough to help me write two 15 page papers. In reality, I thought I could get two solid drafts of papers.

Of course, now I am nearing 5 p.m. on day two and I only have six pages of one paper written and I have hit a road block. I must get this draft done today so I can talk with my professor about it on Wednesday. I wrote solidly for six pages and suddenly I am stumped. Don't know what to do with that.

On top of this road block, I still have some research to do for my other 15 page paper before I can even write a word. In that class I am struggling and may only get a B unless my final paper is awesome.

I think I am putting a little too much pressure on my writing. I need to get something on the page and revise. Revision is writing, or so I have been told.

OK, that is enough of a pause. Back to writing.

The waiting

To quote Tom Petty, "The waiting is the hardest part."

I am trying to write a response journal this week, the last one that I need to use an article to write about and I am waiting on the article. It says it has processed, but I can't find it. Frustrating.

In the meantime, I continue to fret about my long papers and the research I need to do. I almost wish I could create a version of myself that could work while sleeping. Maybe that will be a sci fi story at some point.

The marathon

The marathon is in town this weekend and that actually made me think about my grad school experience. From everything I have heard about grad school, it is more of a marathon than a sprint. In fact, one professor said to the class last semester that it isn't always the most talented that make it to get a doctorate, but the most determined.

I consider myself a pretty determined person. When I set my mind to something, I tend to get it done. Sometimes I have to remember that because the challenge of grad school so far is the exhausting process of continuing to write. In fact, I have to write so much that sometimes I forget that writing is fun. So here I am trying to remember that.

I spent today writing a short paper and a proposal for my theoretical research paper. I have another paper to do this week, but I am waiting on this delightful thing called IDS to send me the research that I need.

I also spent the day watching episodes of "Veronica Mars" for my research class paper. I actually get to write a paper about a TV show that I loved.

So now it is 9 p.m. and I am exhausted. Ready for another week of the grind of my day job and my schooling -- two full time jobs. Now is the time to remember that I am a determined person and I can do this.

The block

I have been feeling the sting of writer's block for the past couple of weeks. I want to call it that, but in reality, I think I am just tired. I have a lot going on and sometimes that can get to me. I am taking a long weekend to catch up on all my projects, both at home and for school.

My first plan was to work on Saturday and Sunday and get everything done. That hasn't gone over too well. I did no homework on Saturday and now it is Sunday and I have to get at least one of my four papers done today.

I am also working on coming up with an idea for my final project in my research class. I want to do a movie or television series: one, because it is nontraditional and two, because it fits more in line with my long-term goals. I am meeting with my adviser this week to talk about my graduate school plan. I have a feeling it is going to go OK, but some days two and a half years seems like a very long time.

But back to the block. I am in a period right now where I am really not in love with my writing. I am certainly not the first writer to have this experience. The only way through it is to keep writing, so I do. The problem is it takes me longer to get motivated to write and then I am rushing to get things written in really tiny windows of time, like an hour here or there. When I am not giving myself time to do the writing, of course I am going to dislike it.

Speaking of not liking my writing, this blog post has now become a convoluted mess, therefore I think it is time for me to sign off. After all, I still have a writing to do for my theory class and I don't want to mess it up.